Lucky

Dear oh dear oh dear. Lemme just lay it all out for you.

GOT my bathroom organized, officially! (Aside form pet-door being installed and cat-litter-box vacatig my bathroom) And I attempted my room! I'm a little over half-way done. Tomorrow morning I'm going to have to kick myself to really set myself in motion and get-er-done.

Gooooood news! The pets don't hate each other anymore. They are at the "tolerating" stage.
Correction: Vanilla is at that stage. Chai is just as happy of a camper as she could be, all the time. I am so, so, so happy that Vanilla was able to move with me. (Well, actually, she had no choice.....neither did I.)

On a more debatable note, this happened today.

Amy (NRN) posted this link saying "Sign this": https://www.change.org/p/u-s-house-of-representatives-allow-minors-to-change-legal-gender-without-parental-consent?recruiter=27136668&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=autopublish&utm_term=des-lg-share_petition-no_msg&utm_content=rp_petition_fb_share_desc%3Acontrol 

Now, here are how the comments followed. I started things off:

Me: The reason for parents is so that they may guide you and protect you until you are old enough to understand and know things better for yourself.
Unfortunately, not all people who have kids are parents! But, do you know how often kids flip flop ideas and things they think when they're young? It is similar to asking your mom to make your room Barbie themed or Hot Wheels themed, but you eventually grow out of that.

I'm not saying that the decision to want to change your gender is as little as a room theme. But think of this: Out of all of the years a person lives, the years a person spends as a minor under the protection of a legal parent or guardian is minuscule compared to the rest of your life. So why rush this, this BIG life decision withOUT your parent's consent as a minor when you can simply be patient until you are older and more knowledgeable about things and are no longer under your parent's legal protection?
In the case for those who's parents SUCK, just know that patience will reward you splendidly! Otherwise, if your parents agree that it is an okay think to do, then there you go, someone older and wiser than you are agrees with your decision because they know You and know that this isn't an immature decision, but a mature one that will last without regret.

Amy: you do not have authority to speak for the trans community and neither do I but neither of us could ever dream of understanding what they effects of this petition could mean to trans teens going through horrible gender dysphoria and discrimination. 

Sure, many people have fluid genders and the way they identify can change. But that is why this law is about pronouns and not something irreversible like hormone therapy.

Me:  I just think "Without Parental Consent" is a little harsh. If the parents love and understand you as their child, then the should understand and be supportive if it means that much to you.
If you have Sucking parents, then wait the couple extra years until you're legally an adult.

Lolita: Sarah u fucking titty
Trans ppl die because of their parents
Holy fuck

Amy: Why should they continue to suffer? This legal change, aka having autonomy over something so core to their identity as their gender is essential

Lolita: Why would you lets parents kill their trans children WTfff!!!

Me: You are missing the big picture. And due to your lack of respect towards me, someone you do not even know, I now have the first impression that you are immature.
Am I wrong? If so, please fix your behavior.
I am speaking from a parent's perspective. My mother and I are 17 years apart in age. Anything I need, she supports. Parents Should support their children. Unfortunately, not all parents do, which in my opinion deems them unworthy of being parents.

But if your child goes out and changes some big legal document to without your knowledge while they are under Your protection and responsibility....How would you feel? Wouldn't you be hurt that they never confided in you? Wouldn't the trust you two should have be a bit broken?

Kids are jumping at the bit to be independent! That's wonderful. But then make sure you aren't asking for money, food, clothes, cleaning supplies, a car, gas, concert tickets, furniture, etc from them. If kids want to be I dependent, let me tell you: Independence is expensive, unfortunately. So until you have an education under your belt to support the supporting career you pick out for yourself in life to help pay for EVERYTHING in your life.....accept the help your parents and family offer and deal with the circumstances until you are finally at the independent point in your life.


This is coming from someone who just moved out and became independent. It's hard, really hard. And it's costing me about $1000 a month at Least to be that way.

Monauer: I think feeling hurt can take a back burner to your child's suffering if they aren't allowed to express who they are. you are lucky that your mom is so supportive but many parents are not as a statistic like 41% is unacceptable. everything in this bill is reversible but to say "it just a phase you will change your mind" just because someone is underage invalidates them as people and is just plain rude and ignorant
we're not saying they should move out and be completely independent we are saying they should have the legal freedom to make certain decisions for themselves

Me: Yes. They should. Things that they can do for themselves.
But if you are someone's responsibility for only 18 of the 70-100 years that you live? You can communicate your suffering, or go to someone who Will understand. Do all that you can to express Your Suffering.
And if after all that it still doesn't get through to them, then what's a few more years? You know who you are. Those who DO care about you know who you are. That's what matters in the meantime. I'm saying, as a minor, there are many things we want. Permanently, right now, and desperately.
But patience is a virtue, and if it is that important to you, then it is worth fighting for and being patient for.

Monauer: do you realize though that some people DONT have anyone who can help support them?
those few years can be the difference between life and death
this petition isn't for something permanent though

Me: And those kids are terribly unlucky and my heart Always aches for them. Always.

Monauer: your heart obviously doesn't ache very much or you'd have a little compassion

Me:  I have much.
But I don't think kids have it all in their mind. They are not always right, they do not always have things under control.
Prove that you do, and I'll support.
There are also the people who would do this as a joke. Kids will be kids.
I know it isn't. My main point is that a legal, consenting adult should agree with the minor and sign.
To those who have the issue where their parents won't listen: do me one favor (it's for yourself). 1)Try to talk to your parents again. And again. And again. AND again.

2)If you're going to kill yourself, go to a school counselor, since you're still a minor and still attend school. If you are home schooled, talk to your sports coach. Talk to your Friend's parents. Talk to your Aunt/Uncle or your Grandma/Grandpa. Talk to the head of your religious group when you see them next. Please. Search until you find someone who will hear you out! It is worth it. Because if you can't get what you want now, you can freely do so in (give or take a year or two) 4 years.

Monauer: Sarah that is just plain ignorant. you are assuming people have those options

Me: While this issue is tragic, I believe it is wrong to go behind parents' back with a legal issue.
Some people are very narrow minded and do not open their mind up to the endless possibilities of how a person feels or what they enjoy doing or who they find interest in, etc.

I agree that there should be an outlet for these kids, BUT, I think it should be altered so that it's not 100% behind the parents' back.

Monauer:  I think when you are in a situation as severe as a lot of kids are it is the only solution. sometimes having parents in every part of your legal life can be very dangerous

Nala: I can understand your wish for parents to have discretion over their children's decisions, but I just don't understand why something as fundamental as one's identity needs to have the approval of their parents. While it's easy enough to pretend that all parents can have a mature conversation about a sensitive issue like this, for too many children, this isn't the reality. Mother or father is not necessarily equivalent to someone who believes in you and supports and cares for you. In extreme cases, a child could be disowned or beaten for even trying to confide this in a parent. This needs to be taken into consideration heavily. I think for a child who is almost certainly going through an extremely difficult time trying to figure out their identity and place in a society that is unaccepting of them, being able to be legally recognized as the gender they identify with could be the only thing they have. When I try to put myself in their shoes, imagining a world in which everywhere I turn people are ridiculing me, discriminating against me, or just dismissing my identity entirely, is quite frankly terrifying. I don't know how long I could handle such a situation without breaking down. Identities are so incredibly important to ALL of us, and I think everyone has a right to be accepted for who they are regardless of a parents or anyone else's opinion. That is why this is important. In an ideal situation, a child will be able to discuss this with their parents and be in an environment that is supportive. But this is for the children who just don't have that option. Legal recognition maybe the only validation they have, and personally, I just can't deny that to anyone. Where is the harm? This is about everyone's right to a sense of self, regardless of age and regardless of parents.

Amy: I completely agree. Dismissing this as just trying on an identity like a hat is extremely offensive. This is their identity and they deserve nothing short of equal treatment.

Keke: This Sarah girl is so fucking dumb

I hope she comments back something to me so I can read how ducking dumb her response is

Haha ducking ^

 I mean the f word... Oops

Nala: With all due respect, I've never heard of a time in which being called "fucking dumb" has ever swayed anyone the other way in an argument. I don't think you're dumb, Sarah, I can see where you're coming from. I would just encourage you to try to look at this from a different perspective, maybe assess the net gains for the child and net losses for the parent, etc. This is an important conversation to have, and I know that it can get personal and heated, but we should be able to feel like we can discuss it and share our opinions without being attacked for it.

Keke: Here we go^

I'm attacking

I hope you feel attacked

Me: Nala, you make sense. And I do see from that perspective. And you explained things in a fashion I highly respect. Thank you. Please, keep on with--well, being you. I wish I had known you (as I had others) back when I attended CCA.

When things get heated, you get to see how a person reacts under stress and pressure, let alone emotions. For some, it is a concerned character, or an ill-informed character, or well-rounded character. Or for some, it is a purely immature character.

While few are lucky enough to HAVE those parents that truly support their child, I know of some personally that their parents are just as Nala described that some can be. Most of the time, and most parents, unfortunately, parents are dumb, rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. (I personally think that *those types* should Not be parents) However, terrible or understanding,*most (again, not all, but most) parents are doing what they can in what they have been taught is the best way to protect, teach, and raise their children into healthy, independent adults. I do not condone hiding Legal matters from your parents who are Legally responsible for you. Though there is another topic following the same guidelines "legal without parental consent". Anything from Planned Parenthood. And I support this because --well for many reasons, but most of all, we don't need more idiots becoming bad parents, especially when they aren't even old enough to care for their own selves yet.

After crossing this thought, I sway less toward my hard line decision that parents should know everything before it happens. Because, kids are kids: Parents will not know everything because kids hide a good quarter of their activities efficiently.

I would propose that if a teenager decides to legally change their gender behind their parents' back, then the parents should AT LEAST be notified of it. They Do Need to know.

All in all, it has been quite a day.

I had my first class of the spring semester of my 2nd year. Woo! I am taking Psych with Bonnie Hepburn. How cool of a name is that? And she reminds me of my "Aunt" Lisa. :)

Work was goooooood. I had a good lesson with both of the girls; missed seeing their mom, though.

I visited my own mom and then came home.

I made safron rice and then mixed it with plain yogurt and sprinkled a little salt. Lesson learned: put the rice in the fridge, and THEN once it has had time to cool, mix it with the other stuff. Otherwise it tastes a little funkier than it should.

I still need to head to a pet store and buy the pet door.
Tomorrow Imma (hopefully) finish my room and buy the pet door, go to work, and then head to my evening class: Humanities.

Both of my classes this semester are fairly simple and easy, I think. *fingers crossed* I'm not worried.

OH! And I got to video chat my best friend. <3 :) That made my day. :) 

So I found this picture (See picture) with my stuff as I was unpacking. For those of you who are unaware, my mother had me when she was 17, and my father was 23. After a few months, my father dipped out and my mother kept trudging along. Within the year she met my dad (Man who raised me) and married him right before my first birthday. Not only was my own mother one of those kids that PROBABLY should not have had kids with who she was at the time, doing what she was doing.....but having me when she did saved her life, and I repeat this from her own mouth. And I got lucky, because she loves me, she supports me, she understands me, and she hears me out. Plus, I got a dad, too. He is more of the hard-ass in my family...and if I had wanted to be transgender...anytime previous to the last 10 years, my dad probably would have said "Hell No!" So, yes, I do understand at least some perspective. I am a very, very lucky person, through and through. I know this wholeheartedly and I never, ever forget it. I am lucky that on top of my parents, I have a HUGE family from each and every side connected to me that is supportive of me. I love them all so, so much. :') (I actually teared up! So you know I mean it!) 

I am not only lucky, but I believe I am blessed. I have come so far! On my own and with their help and love and support. :)

Bonne nuit! Gilmore Girls time! <3 22:40.