How to Grow Past Depression & Anxiety

Both depression and anxiety are a reality to some people.

BUT IT SHOULD NEVER BE AN EXCUSE!

People learn to live through it, to grow past the grasp those negative tentacles.

1) Inhale. Exhale.

2) Slow down.

3) Inhale. Exhale.

4) Prioritize.

5) Eat.

6) Inhale. Exhale.

7) *Follow through with making your day a gift, not a chore.*

8) Be with, hang with, eat with, laugh with, love those that make you feel positive, happy, genuine, and REAL.

9) ONLY do things that allow you to move in a positive, forward direction. Those priorities you made (above) should be parallel with where you work and what you spend YOUR TIME doing every day.

10) Inhale. Exhale.

There is much love, much warmth, and always a pair of arms wanting to hold you, whether a mom, a dad, a sibling, cousin, aunt, uncle, friend, teacher, roommate; even if you were to walk up to a stranger and repeat "I am in desperate need of a warm hug. By chance, may I ask you for a hug?"

Y o u W i l l F i n d A H u g!

Anxiety vs Depression

My senior year in high school,  I had irregular heavy periods and cramps that would hurt enough to make me vomit and have hot and cold flashes. So I started on a birth control called the Patch. At the time, I was just beginning my sexually active life and the extra precaution made me feel better. Unfortunately, it also brought my mood to a worsened state of such extremities that I gave up all of my friends and broke up with my boyfriend and hid away. I would cry every night to fall asleep and even went to the extent of writing a suicide note. I never gave it to anyone. I never needed to. The moment I was on the floor in my bathroom, bawling my eyes out with a pair of scissors in my hand was the moment I knew that if I continued on the path I was on without help, then I would fall down such a deep, dark, cold hole.
The next day, a professor of mine for recording arts asked me how I was, sincerely, because that is the type of person he is. He always asked me this, and I always answered in a positive way. He knew I had some struggles with school and college searches and finding a place to live once I hit 18. But this one day, he asked me, looking me in the eye, and I broke right there where I stood. Luckily, most students had already left, but he sat down with me and said that he knew there was more bothering me. I told him I had been suffering and he helped me not only calm down, but re-organize my plans and how I view things. He told me to not give up and keep looking at the light that surrounds us all everywhere. He may not have said these things word for word, but what he doesn't realize is how much he truly helped me.
I went off of the birth control on my own accord. I have experimented with different types since then and have concluded that I don't want to be giving my body a drug with its power, whether positive or negative.

Now.
For those of you who have been on a regular medication (or birthcontrol) and then stopped taking it, you know that your body goes through a withdrawl of sorts where your body's hormones must regulate. I haven't been on birth control since mid-June, 2015. Within the past few months, I have been learning to slowly deal with certain situations and people while my hormones have been haywire. It's been incredibly difficult, but Micah is learning, too, how to help me and understand me.

Personally, I always thought I was just a loose cannon, a looney, a "weird" one, insecure, a loser. That's how far down a negative spiral I was. Rest assured, I am a very confident, independent individual, very happy, very calm, and very present. I know that I was just lost before and that all I needed to do was pull myself out of that particular slump.

I have read several articles and listened to several stories similar to mine, and what people have been calling this "loose cannon, a looney, a "weird" one, insecure, loser" attitude is Anxiety.

I know that when I'm overthinking and stressing myself out and losing myself to my surroundings, or even worse, thoughts........it's irrational. Most people do not have an issue with listening to an entire conversation without their mind sneaking away to run in a direction parallel to what the person is talking about. The amount of times I interrupt people to comment on a passing car, person, or tree, literally, my mind just phases in and then back out.

What truly is dreadful is that when I am the person explaining, lecturing, or telling a story and I interject constantly about this and that little thing the story could probably do without---------AND THEN I FORGET WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!
Poof!
Gone!
Vanished!
Sometimes I can reel it back in and continue, but often time my mind goes blank as if I was never discussing anything.

I have seen signs of my memory, more short-term rather long-term, and mind doing this exactly and it terrifies me.
Micah says I am always psychoanalyzing myself, which is strenuous to my behavior, habits, decisions, and mind.






I have so. many. T H O U G H T S! coursing through my mind at all times of consciousness.

I know mediation is lovely, and I do my best to practice often! But how else do people quiet their minds? Does anyone else ever feel the same?

13:38.

Present

Past:

1. Iguana ran away.
2. Wolf was the runt of the litter.
3. Music became insanely important in my life because I met and started spending a lot of time with Micah and Greg. Micah and I write songs and Greg plays solo guitar. I am currently working on letting the drawstring to my bag of songs stay constantly open. #CosmicLullaby
4. Micah and I started dating. Yes it's serious. Yes he's living with me. Yes he's an amazing cook and cooks for me often. I have learned that a love full of passion and dreams must have bumps every now and then so that the two may grow together as a couple; it is not easy.
5. Oh yes, and due to fortunate events and revelations, I have quit over-paying MiraCosta all together and have quit the American education system. From now on, I will learn on my terms.
6. Ah, last one: I quit Chuao Chocolatier. And then another cafe emplyee quit as did the manager and both assistant managers.
7. I really am in love with Micah. It's terrifying, obnoxious, infuriating, warm, mind blowing, happy, safe, healthy and age appropriate.

Future:

1. Music Students!
2. Looking for a new house, with Micah and hopefully roommates(?)!
3. Upgrading Fleur's tank because he got way bigger!

Ta ta 19:48.