Within all of this time, I have taken several pictures of Fleuris. I have had Fleuris get used to me; he/she (I'll reference to both "he" and "she" until I know) likes to curl around my neck and climb through my hair. At one point, Fleuris even curled around my bun and wouldn't let go. I ate my dinner and cleaned the apartment with her sitting there. I'll post pictures soon.
I have been working and working and studying and sleeping and rinse, and repeat.
Plus I've been spending a lot of time with Dylan. I don't think we've gone 24 hours since Jan. 31 without seeing each other. So today until tomorrow, for 24 hours, we will NOT make up excuses to see each other or accidentally bump into each other. Because we keep doing that. Eek oops.
Roomie and I and our apartment sprayed for ants and spiders. I still find one or two her and there, but nothing like before.
I am always up and out and busy, up and out and busy, up and out, and busy, busy, busy.
So I think for the rest of this week, I will relax. Yes. I don't have work at the chocolate store until Sunday, so aside from my 2 classes this week and my musical students...I will come HOME to MY HOME and relax to the best of my ability.
Tonight, a group of us (not Dylan, he's not invited, that way the 24-hours thing holds) are going to Vital to climb. I haven't been in TOO :LONG and I seriously need to get back into a regular schedule of going. How about Tuesday nights and Sunday nights or Monday mornings and Wednesday mornings, for starters.
I went to Kyle's graduation, and I feel like one of the biggest idiots. Regardless of what I may have said in previous posts, I know that we have nothing left except possibly a friendship, that is, if he ever stops ignoring me. He's still in love with his ex, which is very clearly obvious, which makes me wonder what he was ever doing with me and how I could have ever meant anything. I think for the time we had, it was good, but that time was up while he was away. He gave up which told me to give up. On him, at least. Which, honestly, and for multiple reasons, is for the better. If he ever stops ignoring me because he's scared of what he thinks I'll say, then I know we'll be better as friends as we had been before. I was happy before he became more as a friend. I was happy when he did. I was happy when he left. And I was still happy when he told me that we should just be friends. He told me that at the New Year, though I think we both know that as soon as he hugged me goodbye that Sunday back in early November, that's when he had planned on everything ending. And I was still happy when he came back.
Two reasons. 1) I don't hold onto emotions or "what ifs". I cut them, like two boats at sea, cutting the tether between the two. You may still be able to see each other every now and then, but the rope to emotions and the heart...snip! I've always been like that. 2) I am happy with my life as if I were all by myself. Luckily, I'm not; I have family and friends and pets. But I am happy with my school, I am happy with my jobs, I am happy with where I moved, and I'm happy with how I spend my time. I. Am. Happy. All on my own. I don't lean or depend on others in order to make myself smile or feel excited.
So when the end of January rolled around and Dylan lived right down the road to invite me to hang out with him and his friends and chill a bunch, this very familiar stranger turned into who I've spent so much time with this past 17 days straight. The smallest things go noticed, the stupidest of things get laughed at, and I don't feel like I have to prove myself to be better. I'm liked for who I am; just for being me, I am enough.
Here are the pics of Fleuris. :)
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